American Nintendo puppet bitches they can’t seem to ever please fans.

Mr ‘in charge of colouring in the graphs and making bad news look better’ over at Nintendo of America is defending their pathetic E3 Improv by saying us Nintendo fans are too hard to please. You can put lipstick on a pig Mr whatever,  but Nintendoland still looks boring and cheap. Mr ‘dont take offense because it’s not your fault anyway’ please understand I do see there is some merit to what you are saying. We are a demanding bunch, but let me break it down for you, and you may find we are in fact cheaper than the Wii & WiiU technology. You will also see it is ALL Nintendos fault

Where are our sequels?

Miyamoto isn’t stupid, that’s why Pikmin 3 is a near carbon copy of Pikmin 2. The game wasn’t broke, it didn’t need fixing, and beside exploring more multiplayer we all just wanted more of the same. We wanted Mario 64 2, some people still do. Basically we want all the Nintendo franchises to come back and they have clearly been ignored and sidelined during the Wii and look to be again on the WiiU. Worse there is few new IPs to make up for their exclusion or huge delays. Deal with it Nintendo, we want more of the same, you don’t need to revolutionise the concept, and the truth is every time to claim you have, in actual fact you haven’t. except of course for the obvious ones, like Mario 64.

Where are our games?

While you can’t please everyone at the same time, you please noone when you’re not making games. Nintendo, babe, you’re not making any games! Yes yes, feel free to list them, but between now and 2010 let’s not pretend you gave up on the Wii & DS ages ago and you’ve been slow and slim on the 3DS. You are being to dependant on 3rd party support. This is unwise, because as absoultely no one has realised except me, you don’t get many of the good 3rd party games, and they all look better on a 360. So try as you might, a Nintendo console is ALL about Nintendo games, and any other excluesives.

We do care about visuals!

We do understand there’s no need to be power obsessed, we love games that reek of effort far more than those that look like a graphical breakthrough, we know everything dates, and the true skill is in making games that age well, like Windwaker. An 8 bit game that pushes things to the limits can be far more impressive than a standard 360 game. Nintendos standards remain high and satisfying for the most part, but the plethora of diabolically bad 3rd party games is devastating. Where has that ‘Seal of Quality’ gone?

We do wish the WiiU was rasing the bar higher because of the Wii. It was dated tech from day 1 and it lead to so many sloppy games many looking inferior to Gamecube games. We feel history is repeating with the WiiU. If there isn’t a push for quality and enough power to make life easy for lazy programmers we will repeat the Wiis pattern. The Wii’s power is’nt actually that awful, it’s just that so few bothered to push the envelope. Probably because of the Wiis reputation, and if the WiiU has a weak rep, people probably wont try hard again.

It is true graphics aren’t all that important, but effort and attention to detail is. Like the cock jokes, It’s not how much you’ve got, it’s what you do with it, and you need to do more than waggle your Wii.

We’d love some cheap retro shit!

Nintendo, you could happily make a series of new 8 bit and 16 bit games, based on new IPs or your classics. They would sell well and give the fans big reasons to sing your praises. and what could be cheaper these days and help up the games-numbers than some old school games? Don’t rule it out Nintendo, You know New Super Mario Bros works, a game in 8 or 16 bit, would as well, just as much as we’d love Mario 64 2 created on an idealised N64 engine. Don’t rule the retro out.

Put out or shut up

A life time of the biggest must have Nintendo games always being delayed is bound to make a fanboy cynical. I know I am sick of it, and my criticism of Nintendo all stems from this. No one likes waiting, and the more something is delayed the more you expect to the point that expectations are so high, you wont get everything you want. So ideally Nitnendo, hun, you shouldn’t talk about any game untill they know for sure when it will be released and is less than a year away.

Being the best

If you go to hear the worlds best piano player do his thing, nothing but the best will do. Nintendo have to face that having such a high reputation draws more criticism. Most games are reviewed bottom up. Nintendos games are reviewed top down. It’s about what they got wrong, where as with most other games, it’s about what they got right. Every Nintendo game begins with a 100% score and is chiseled down. This is the price of being known as the best, praise becomes a given and it’s always more about what you didn’t do right. It’s a good thing, those scores don’t often fall far from 100%, but pro or con you’re looking for something bad to say

So let’s be clear

Our demands aren’t high and respect the fact that being held in such high regard will always attract incresed scrutiny and higher expectations. But right now many of us feel we have lowered our expectations considerably and you still can’t deliever. Few are getting what they want, and were not getting much of anything at all.

In the N64 it was a lack of games, delays, and bells and whistles, in the gamecube era, it was delays and taking games of in directions that even those who liked them had to learn to love them, in the Wiis era it has been delays  and too many franchises going AWOL and too small a step up from the previous console. None of our fanboy complaints are exactly unreasonable. Are they, Nintendo? These all all legit complaints most of which you’ve admitted and said you will learn from. Although it’s only with the WiiU you have finally adressed the 2 big problems at long last, Storage space, and online. But you can;t make an omlette without breaking eggs so what will fall short this time around? So far the one thing that looksfor sure it our favorite faces still remaining AWOL for quite sometime, and that really, is all that matter. Our Nintendo games. We dont really care about the console, we just want our games, and no Nintendo, that doesn’t mean EVEN more Mario. Who did Mario sleep with at Nintendo to get so much attention?

SO to shut us up.

Well i sense it’s too late to deliver, but we want to see at least 10 of our franchises in the firs 2 years, and that I think is a generous tim frame. I think I speak for many when I say we want the ones we haven’t seen for a while first, like Star Fox and F Zero. We don’t want you to mess around with them too much unless the idea is a clear fna pleaser. Natural evolutions, like online co-op for Starfox, not more land based mission, keep us in the cock-pit for the love of god! We know it’s to late to beef up the WiiU, so we expect some quality control. It’s in your interest. Idiots are the peole you want to buy your console and Idiots tend to miss the quality games, and if they are playing the bad ones, like the Wii it reflects badly on you and by the love of Miyamoto, that ot probably the main reason the Wii has such a poor reputation. we do wish you’d get with the times more, providing more feature like Mp3 ,DVD, Blu-ray, achievements, social media, but know your stubborn on these things. If you want to bring people to your console these things are far from being a hinderance. And if you want it to be a centerpiece of the living room, it such be a diverse machine, For some it will be, because the hackers will show you what you should have done with the Wii U.

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