Nintendo Switch Impressions

Before I begin I will admit I can pretty cold about new hardware when I first learn about it only to warm up to it later, so it’s pretty typical of me to say that I was not impressed by the Switch. However I can say it is the LEAST impressed I have been about any upcoming Nintendo console.

First the good, I really did like the look of the HD rumble feature. It’s about time the Rumble feature had an upgrade. I’m also happy with the look of the upgraded dual motion controls in the joy cons. Overall I do quite like the joy con controllers.

I can’t complain about Mario or Zelda either. The rest of the announced games are looking decent too, the problem is there is so little to pick from. The launch line up is seriously thin and the rest of 2017 looks even more sparse.

Yes obviously there are things we don’t know about, there are always things we don’t know about, but we are way passed the ‘fool me once’ stage. It is safe to say that no, in fact Nintendo probably don’t have much at all in the pipeline. Don’t get your hopes up. Certainly don’t spend the next few months thinking Nintendo will deliver a heap of surprises that will blow our minds at E3! Expect very little.

Knowing Nintendo’s track record you’d be foolish to think everything announced will arrive on time either. Xenoblade 2 is sure to slide in 2018, I wouldn’t rule Mario out either. As we all saw it’s not exactly got that Nintendo polish yet. Nintendo are the king of delaying games and the 2017 line up so far is sure to be no exception.

With a game like Breath of the Wild kicking things off it seems harsh to hammer the Switch, but it hard for the latest Zelda game to build up a lot of hype when it’s games that was meant for the Wii U 3 years ago. Mario Kart 8 Deluxe and Splatoon 2 hardly generate much hype either when they are basically just glorified ports of Wii U games.

Even turning up with 2 new IP’s didn’t quite work. 1,2 Switch is nothing but a novelty and ARMS while looking competently programmed, doesn’t look very well designed. It’s visuals are uninspired, with stadiums that looked ripped from Pokken Tournament, and it’s characters completely unmemorable. ARMS look like an over inflated mini game.

The 3rd party support is utterly laughable. There’s no need to say anymore. Well except for those hysterical moments in the presentation where they wheeled out Sega and god knows who else too to announce, nothing, something, who can say, and Fifa. But as we were told things are in the works! Can’t wait.

So basically the line up of games is pretty narrow and grim. Hope and joy were not spread across the gaming world on the Jan 12th. Well besides the typical sycophants and morons who were fapping all over the place before knowing a damned thing.

You may disagree and of course no console has a stunning first year, but killer blow for the Nintendo Switch is the pricing. £279 is too much. The reported £75 for a joycon is disgusting. And it looks like I won’t be playing online anymore. Monthly subscription fees? Going by these prices I think I’ll stick to buying food!

I should also point out, as have others, that us Brits are being made to pay more than Japan or America and Nintendo can’t blame it all on our tax system or bastard Brexit. Go fuck yourselves Nintendo!

It is too much and going by recent history I wouldn’t bank on a price reduction either. Of course I will buy one, but I know one thing, I will be waiting till some desperate idiot is selling theirs cheap to make some quick cash. £279 is too much for too little.

Nintendo, as the Metro said, had a chance to come out proving they’ve learned from their errors with the Wii U, but it feels like they did slightly worse than with the Wii U’s reveal. No one could be honestly convinced the Switch is worth buying with what they have seen so far, and with pricing faux pas and a gaff infested presentation Nintendo basically fucked up big time. There is no hype for the Switch, just a lot of polite journalists who are doing an admirable job of trying to not be mean.

Once again Nintendo look woefully ill-prepared for the future. They look like a cottage industry with a rural mindset with no idea what the big city or big industry is like. They’ve stumbled in with a handful of games of which the most ambitious is still running on yesterdays technology. And somehow they have the gall to overcharge everyone!

Is the future bright for Nintendo? No. Will the Switch do well? Probably not. But to wrap up, who can really say? Ranting aside it is too early to write off the Nintendo Switch but we have to honest, it’s not off to a good start.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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